Imagine my surprise as I was wheeling my cart along in the grocery store one evening and ran into Ernie hanging out near the chicken broth. I don’t think I’ve seen toys in this particular grocery store, let alone a lone Ernie amidst a container of Marvel superheroes. It struck me as funny. I came across the photo the other day and his friendly expression suddenly reminded me of the classic Sesame Street song, “Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood?”
So, who are the people in your neighbourhood? In our neighbourhood, we are familiar with some people by both face and name and others by face only. We know the crossing guard, recycling truck driver and postal carrier by face only. We know several of our neighbours more closely and can chat or give a quick call to help one another out.
After 12 years of a newspaper routes/s in the family (more about that here), the kids know a whole lot of neighbours. Having a paper route has probably been the best way to become familiar with people. Not familiar in the sense of regularly socializing or anything like that – familiar in the sense of friendly waves and dropped off Christmas cards (and sweets if they’re lucky!) The guys have been able to get references from some long term customers and they’ve been able to help the customers out in practical ways too. I guess as newspaper carriers, this has made them
“people in your neighbourhood!”
Growing up in a rural area, I didn’t have what anyone would have referred to as a neighbourhood exactly, but we certainly did have a community. I’m just old enough to have been little in the days that there were still strawberry socials at the local country church. When somebody got married or had a baby, there was a community shower in the little stone township hall.
Halloween was an opportunity to see all the older people in the community and for them to “guess” who you were behind your costume. We got things like homemade fudge from a couple of people and they knew we’d be looking forward to their particular kind each year. Either I’m really old or growing up in the country made the difference, but I think it’s safe to say that things are quite different now. After coming in from Halloween night, not too many kids would be allowed to eat somebody’s homemade fudge😊.
Regardless of where you grew up and the probability that “neighbourhood” and “community” are quite different than they might have been in days gone by, there are still strong signs of neighbourhood and community – local sports teams, active parents on committees in local schools, neighbours saying hello to one another and helping each other out.
Go with your kids to the local park, walking trails or community centre event. Let them see and hear you wondering if the older person up the street needs some help shovelling their snow or carrying something heavy. Notice out loud how much older someone’s baby has gotten and that you bet they might be walking by summer. It can be anchoring for kids to have a sense of belonging to community as they are growing up, whether it comes from the people who live directly around them or from a bit further afield.
Why does it matter if we know people in our neighbourhood or close community?
It mattered the day that Mrs. C, a very elderly newspaper customer called for help just as M and S got to her house to deliver the paper. She was almost collapsing as she got out of her car. It was a very humid day and she had been out too long without water. They each took an arm and s-l-o-w-l-y helped her walk into the house and onto the couch. Then S stayed with her while M ran to our house to let us know she needed help.
It mattered the day one of our cats took off and we needed help from a neighbour.
It mattered late the other evening when a friend dropped a cell phone off in our mailbox thinking we were home but we were away visiting an hour away and not ready to come home yet. A quick call to the neighbour resulted in the already cold phone being rescued from the mailbox until we got home.
It mattered when S got offers to do some great paid work gigs when our neighbour’s company needed someone right away.
Many of us may no longer live in communities like the one that Sesame Street talks about, with a grocer on one corner and a plumber or library on the other. You might live out in the country with nobody very close at all, but community can mean different things.
I don’t think the point is to focus on only the people in the homes directly around you but to be conscious of building community and connection.
Over the years, we’ve done a lot of what we call “trading off” with other homeschooling parents. If there was something going on but older or younger children had other things they wanted to do, or maybe another parent had to work, we’d often “trade off” with another family so that the kids still had an opportunity go to the event. It was helpful to parents and enjoyable to kids and over the years, we developed long-term connections with other families that have been helpful in so many other ways. The kids have other long-standing adults in their lives that have been able to add sorts of things, practical and otherwise, and I’m able to have the same kind of presence in their kids’ lives which has been a blessing to me as well.
For us as adults, we often clearly appreciate the advice and ideas from other parents and for kids, the tangible things often make the relationship the clearest.
M and I walking up the front steps to find a pair of waterproof boots by the door because a friend knew that he was looking at doing some work with the local conservation authority.
G being completely comfortable with another parent picking him up from the orientation of his first job so that I could be at an appointment with my younger son.
L’s delight at receiving a cozy mermaid “blanket” (picture wiggling into an emerald green blanket that closes at the bottom in the shape of a full tail) as a Christmas present from friends who always seem to know exactly the kinds of things she likes.
Everyone seeing a favourite chocolate bar of mine tucked into the handle of the driver’s side of the car (more than once), gifted to me as a surprise by another mum. All of these things are clear indicators to kids that we belong in community and are individually appreciated by people in it.
If you’re home educating, you look for community in different ways. You might need to look for a while to find a fit. It might be a home education group. That can take some time to find a community that feels like a fit as far as proximity, availability, set up and values. It could be online. It might be a community of faith. It might be a group based on shared interests such as a band or sports team. It could be any of these things and all kinds of others, but one way or another, it’s helpful and enriching to develop community, both for yourself and your family.
And what if you’re more of an introvert or homebody or both? My hand is up – I get it! Developing community or being part of a neighbourhood doesn’t necessarily mean hosting dinners at your house or being out at events. It can be quietly smiling and waving to the same kids who walk by your house to school each day. It can be saying hello to people as they walk their dogs. It can be baking something to deliver to a new neighbour or someone who has been at the hospital with a loved one. It can just mean having a steady and available presence to a very few people.
And if you do happen to live in some kind of classic Sesame Street neighbourhood, complete with a friendly grocer, plumber and mechanic all within walking distance, blessed are you. Enjoy the variety around you and help your children enjoy them too😊.
What do you think about neighbourhood and community? Has it been easy to connect? Challenging? What has been helpful?
Hi Mara,
I agree! There’s just something in knowing that people are simply there. I loved watching some footage from Italy on the news a couple of days ago of people out on their balconies singing together and across the way from one another. Some people had pots and pans out for instruments:). Even in very difficult times, it was touching to see people finding neighbourliness and joy. Thanks so much.
Trying again with my comment 😉.
I love this❤️. I’m so very thankful for our neighbors and other communities, even though it seems crazy that we can’t get together with them in person right now. We can still wave across the road and keep an eye on one another. Thanks for the reminder of that song!
Each year my daughter writes our Christmas cards and as she extends her reach further down our long road, we’ve been learning the names of people we’ve been smiling at and saying hi to for years. I know we could’ve just asked them 🙂 Of course we do that too sometimes, but it’s been a nice way to put names to faces we might ordinarily just wave and smile at from afar.
And now you’ve got me singing that song… love it 🙂
That’s great! I find that’s so true here as well – we get to know people by a smile and “hello” and don’t always know the names of the people we live closest to:). I’ve also had the song in my head all week! Thanks Hayley.