Eyes brightened, a smile of appreciation grew and a spring in his step returned. It was payment collection time for my son’s newspaper route. This is a second route he’s taken on in order to pay for some bills and equipment for a future project he’s been planning. He’s been pretty excited about it and waited several months to get this additional route. He’s taken it seriously from the get-go, connected with customers and set up a routine to keep things as consistent as possible.
The first stretch of houses was a disappointing run as far as payment went. As he looked for the payment envelopes in each box, they were mostly empty. Shuffling a bit, he conceded that he wasn’t really expecting a great turnout of payment this first while, but there was disappointment in his voice. And then a bright light:). As he checked yet another empty mailbox, a front door opened and a smiling woman waved him down. She didn’t have the payment ready and asked if he would mind waiting just a minute. She came jogging back with her money and friendly smile. She thanked him for his service. That was it. But it was enough. Enough to encourage, re-energize and bring some spring back into his step. Enough to spur on enthusiastic conversation. As he continued, several houses had the payment envelopes taped to doors or ready in mailboxes and things really began to look up. It was that first payment that had been enough to shift his mood though.
I don’t think it was the payment on its own. I think it was the appreciation and just plain kindness in the customer’s smile that brought on a lighter mood. The following days, a few more customers got to know him, some dropping off Christmas tips in our mailbox and a couple of others meeting him on the street just to introduce themselves and thank him. These few people went out of their way to be welcoming and appreciative. With each small show of kindness, his enthusiasm for the job and customers grew.
Always be a little kinder than necessary – James M. Barrie
A few days later I was walking with someone I work with. It was beautiful and sunny and we were admiring Christmas decorations along a side street. There was an elderly woman standing in a big, front window of one of the houses, waving and smiling broadly. At first we weren’t sure what she was communicating and whether she was waving to us or someone else. We did the whole looking to the left, right, behind and then pointing to ourselves thing. “Us?” She nodded and suddenly we all just knew that she simply wanted to connect. She smiled and mouthed “hello,” waving the whole time. It was likely only half a minute that we all stood waving and smiling, but it made a difference to her, to the woman I was walking with and to me. It would have seemed strange in another time, but during this pandemic, it seemed completely normal.
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness – William Arthur Ward
L received a variety of fabric pieces the other day. She was delighted. She’s recently had a renewed interest in getting her sewing machine set back up and has really been enjoying it. When Granny heard, she gathered a variety of pieces to send … vibrant pieces that Granny herself could easily have used for the crazy quilts she’s been looking forward to starting. Instead, she sent many pieces L’s way, assuring her she could use all or as many pieces as she wanted and to feel no concern about sending it back if it wasn’t what she was looking for. Generosity with no expectation or strings attached is the best!
When we began wrapping Granny’s Christmas gift, L made it as special as possible, looking carefully for the perfect giftbox, decorated with the poinsettias she knew Granny would like, finding a coordinating gift tag and wrapping each item carefully.
Kindness begets kindness.
A while back, M was looking into volunteering with a local conservation authority. He would be wading through a large creek, forest paths and meadows regularly. He would be beginning during a very muddy few weeks of spring. A couple of days after mentioning it to a friend of mine, we pulled into our driveway and noticed a beautiful pair of tall, waterproof boots outside the door. There was also a bag of extra shoes. He knew who they were from. Experience had shown him that it was almost impossible for my friend to hear that someone was involved in something without quietly adding something helpful. It’s not unusual for us to pull up and find a pot of flowers on the step or a favourite chocolate bar tucked in the handle of the car doors from this same friend. M smiled and said wryly, “I’m guessing you told J what I’m planning.” I think that especially for teens, this quiet, unasked for support and encouragement from those older than them goes a long way.
A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions and the roots spring up and make new trees. -Amelia Earhart
Life is often busy. Money isn’t always plentiful. Energy can seem even scarcer. We can find ourselves wanting to do kind things but unable to move forward with some of the ideas we have, or simply on autopilot having to keep up with day to day life. Kindness doesn’t have to be fancy or even time-consuming. It can be cultivating the habit of smiling to people you pass on foot or in parking lots. It doesn’t mean you always have to have money or food at the ready to offer a person in need as you pass by (although it’s nice if you do). Making eye contact and striking up some easy conversation might actually be at least as meaningful. It can be smiling and saying “hello.”
Of course we’ve all been the recipient of actions that are unkind. Just as kindness doesn’t have to be dramatic, but simply a matter of attitude, so too is the case with unkindness. Recently I got mixed up in a parking lot and took an extra couple of seconds to figure out which way I needed to turn. It caused a woman behind me to miss an opportunity for a green light and let’s just say there was no question how she was feeling about it. She glared at me and when we did move ahead, angrily jerked her car around me even though I was moving along with the rest of the traffic. For several minutes afterward, I felt tired, deflated and ashamed.
She didn’t lay on the horn. She didn’t jump out an yell. She didn’t bang into my car … nothing that dramatic. In the same way that a simple, kind attitude can lift people up, a simple, unkind attitude can bring people down. Strings of small acts of kindness build us up over time. Strings of small acts of unkindness can tear us down bit by bit.
Children are no exception to this. In fact they might be particularly affected because of their developing hearts and minds.
And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
With our families, kindness doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. It doesn’t have to require hours of planning. It can be availability, a listening ear, an unexpected snack plate or mug of hot chocolate. It might be the surprise of someone’s favourite cookies in a tin simply for the sake of it. It can be a simple smile or a “thank you for being you.” It’s a decision. A way of approaching life. A mindset.
The everyday kindness of the backroads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. – Charles Kuralt
Our spouses and extended family and friends most certainly appreciate kindness. Our children not only appreciate it, but they return it, repeat it, build on it and thrive with it. Witnessing our kindness toward them as well as others offers them a sort of framework with which to approach life. They can see a range of kindness, from the relatively easy act of fixing someone a favourite snack to more uncomfortable moments when we choose to act kindly in trickier circumstances.
It can also be something in between, such as a parent sometimes forgoing the cosy plan of a warm afternoon in the house to drive to a skatepark on a cold day because of the excitement of new equipment.
Of course the purpose of being kind to our children goes beyond being an example. They deserve kindness and encouragement from us and from others. One of my favourite sources for exploring that is here.
Finally, your kindness can be a light on someone else’s path. It can give warmth and energy and some ease for their journey.
Kindness is a way of being. Kindness is a choice:).
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Erin, I love this post, it made me smile so much yet also a little teary. I guess we’re all a little hyper-sensitive at the moment but your stories are so gorgeous, simple and everyday yet so potent. And the quotes are amazing too. Although it’s your words I love the most. Your final paragraph sums it up beautifully, and what you say about ‘strings of small acts of kindness’ so powerful. And then to discover your kind words about my blog, am grateful, touched and inspired, thanks Erin.
This is lovely Erin. Thank you for the reminders about the little things we can do every day to show kindness to one another and to teach our children and grand children to do the same!
Very uplifting during this time of anxiety and unease for many people.
Diane
Thank you so much, Diane:). I agree that it’s especially helpful at the moment. I find people are going out of their way a bit more. L and I just got in from a walk and the number of people outside, looking up and making a point to call “hello” or smile seemed more than usual.