Ever Learning

Ever Learning

Eclectic Homeschooling and Beyond

The Personality of Play – Part One

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The Different Ways Children Explore
Play is a very individual thing. I love watching it happen. Sometimes I even like being part of it:). Children can get entirely different things out of the same space, toy or object. I had the opportunity for several years to spend a lot of time individually with children and wow, what a range of ideas were brought to similar spaces and items. It’s such a neat thing to see where kids’ minds and bodies take them.
Play is so important. It expands the horizons of a child’s world, builds competencies as they are ready, and allows them to try on new ways of being.
And it is so fun because it looks different with each child!
In the moments when the kids were younger, I saw those differences, but looking back, it makes so much more sense in realizing who they are now, what they enjoy and the way they process things. Even more aware now of their maturing individual personalities, it is fun to reminisce about the things they all enjoyed but got such different things from.
For example, animals were a staple in our lives. Pets, yes, but beyond that was an interest in animals of all kinds. Intricate collections of model animals, stuffed animals, animal stories, shows, movies and games were a part of many hours of the day. Frequent trips to the zoo, lots of hikes and watching backyard wildlife provided opportunities to both see and then act out scenes with animals as the main characters (see S, the snarling lion, and niece K, the roaring lion, in photo above!) or enjoy them in more concrete ways.
And herein lies the variety of ways they used the same thing in their play…
For G, animals were the means to a story. Biological facts were interesting but mostly, it seemed, as fuel for adding to their characterization and setting. It’s funny how we assume stories to mean “writing stories” down on paper. There are so many other ways to create and tell a story. Oral storytelling, drawing stories through pictures and now, intricate video games, where you can participate in the story, are all creative ways to tell a tale. G’s stories were expressed through play and whether other people heard or saw them was irrelevant. Little model animals were organized in groups and then as the story progressed, moved all over the place, with sound effects building and animals flying through the air – not being thrown, but with G, taking on the character of each,  carrying them dramatically, swooping and diving and colliding in battle. And not that it would have mattered if they weren’t, but the stories were all scientifically realistic. He devoured shows, movies, websites, stories and reference books about animals. He checked his growing collection of little model animals for biological/anatomical correctness. Like an author who writes historical fiction, the facts and accuracy were important to him, but they were the ingredients of the bigger, more creative picture – the story. Looking back on it now, it was awesome:). I wish I had had the energy and presence of mind in those days to capture more of them on camera.

For M, animals were fascinating in and of themselves. Always a fan of trivia, fun facts and world records, there were so many great books, shows and video clips that engaged his interest. And oh my goodness, the “Meet the Animal Keeper” events at the zoo – so many tidbits and up close viewings. For years, we could not get into the Americas Pavilion without stopping at the adjacent area for the snake demonstration. Opportunities to touch and hold reptiles and all animals, really, were so fascinating for him. I remember one afternoon that he and I were hiking in a new spot through some really tricky, hilly forest and he matter of factly looked at a log and said, “I’ll bet there are salamanders under there.” Encouraging, but not necessarily hopeful, I agreed that maybe there were. He lifted up the log and yep, there were salamanders:). He loved to comb the rock beach and look for creatures living in the cracks and crevices of things. Fishing, hiking, exploring … anything hands on and scientific drew him in. And the dogsled races … so much fun for this guy. The pull to animals had nothing to do with “story” in the way it did for G, but everything to do with just the fascination with living creatures for what they were.

Found and photographed by M
For niece K, it was actually both. Hyper-fascinated (I say that in a positive way) by most hands-on things, she would observe animals, pet animals and learn facts about animals, but they also appeared in her art and acted-out stories a LOT, and she became the animals in her play. For quite a few years, it seemed equal parts science and dramatic play when it came to animals. A trip to the zoo would take a looooong time as she took in the features of each animal. Often fascinated by the predator /prey aspect, she could make a “down in her chest” lion roar that sounded almost realistic. As her mum put it, “she is very fascinated by it, the hierarchy, the circle of life, the whole thing.”

For L, animals have been another route to art. Originally, though, the focus was stuffed animals and make believe events. Stuffed animals having tea parties, stuffed animals having conversations, stuffed animals that she could make little props for. This was quite different than the epic sagas full of drama that G was creating with his small model animals – those were very much from the third person perspective. These social events of L’s and her stuffed animals were much more about her own physical set up and event details – normally they involved everyone having a decorated paper invitation or admission ticket – and involved a social element of which she was usually a part. Eventually, this interest disappeared and animals became something she noticed for their form and characteristics. They started to appear in her art.

And for S, it was all about exploration – looking, noticing things and hopefully finding animals. Hiking and being open to seeing what we found, watching for wildlife if we were driving. He always enjoyed keeping his eyes open for animals and still does. It wasn’t so much about a chance to hold them and hadn’t much to do with turning them into characters or drawing them. It was truly a sense of exploration. Animals were part of the bigger picture of nature. Books like Owl Moon by Jane Yolen and the photographic Stranger in the Woods by Carl R. Sams and Jean Stoick were perfect. He loved binoculars and also had a headset with sound magnification. He loved to be with groups of kids traipsing through the forest on adventures, often with walking sticks they’d collected along the way and would keep his eyes open. He would also often veer on ahead on his own. One of his favourite parts of camping continues to be taking a solitary bike ride or walk to just see what he might come across. There was a dramatic element for him with animals, too, though, and it usually involved the enjoyment of simply wearing a costume. If there was some sort of mask available…

Now that they’re older, all of those experiences are in there somewhere and I still see their individual ways of looking at things in their older selves.
When I think of toy vehicles – race cars, construction vehicles, monster trucks, trains – for G it was always about setting up an intricate NASCAR race with strategy and an order of events. He waited patiently until he was 11 and able to play that out at least a little bit on a GoKart track, driving his own vehicle.
The kids would often construct wooden train tracks, and G had assigned personalities to each of the engines, complete with storyline and conflict. S would be over to the side with monster trucks or motorcycles, crashing or testing speeds, building ramps and barriers, creating and taking away areas of friction, always experimenting with the physics of the situation. M was very much the same in that respect and M and S still enjoy connecting with friends for physical challenges and trying different angles and tricks, while G often gravitated toward team games with strategy.
When I was working in the church nursery, it was not unusual that kids might prefer to investigate the workings of a door latch or lock over toys that were set out. They were making sense of the way things worked and they preferred, in that moment at least, to learn something concrete. The old joke about kids receiving a present and preferring to play with the box is sometimes true! And what kids want to do with that box might really vary. For some it would be to used as a piece for building, others might decorate it and fill it with things. Others still might hide inside it and experiment with the difference between standing in it or under it. Of course, they might do all of those things but it is interesting to see.
The way children explore from a sensory and social perspective can be wildly different as well. Oh my. When we would head down to the lakefront in the summertime, there was a sort of nook between rocks and beach and I always marvelled at how random kids would gather down there and play together, working on a system, with some kids back and forth filling buckets from the water that poured through a tunnel from the splash pad to the beach, and others building dams. It was so much fun to watch.
Like clockwork, G would find a way to squat tidily above the wet sand between dashes back and forth as he excitedly called out ideas (orders – ahem?) to the group.  Again, there was this sense of seeing the big picture, creating a story with what everyone was doing and having a sense of how it might all play out. He would return to the van after hours of play, nearly spotless, and sit down on the seat on his still clean clothes. M and S and often other friends would arrive, dripping with mud, more than likely missing a sandal, as I layered towels for them to sit on:). Both of them would have immersed themselves in the physicality of the same game – the muddier, the better – S as a quiet team player and M as an off the charts extrovert, who would have made at least five new friends and possibly not worried too much about the rules or goals of the activity. So much fun and again, the personalities at play all within the same game.

The final aspect that I have time for in this post (there’s so much more fun stuff – have a look for Part 2 soon) is “the urge to be seen” during play. At some point I remember noticing that although in a group of kids S was quite quiet, he was almost always looking to see if I was watching. If a bunch of kids were running around a tree or pole in a big circle, the others were focused ahead, but each time he came around, he would look over to me to see. If they were on a ride at a fair or driving Go-karts or anything that involved circling around to where I was a number of times, without fail, I’d see the shy grin, hoping I was watching. When I look at recent photos, I actually see the same thing. In several photos of L and S kayaking last summer, she was focused ahead while, more times than not, he was looking over at the shore, lol.

This isn’t a show off type of thing (not entirely, at least). It has always had an element of wanting to share moments and things he enjoys with someone. Most new stunts or attempts at dramatic jumps or slides were prefaced with the words, “Are you ready?” That just meant he had something to show/share and he didn’t want me to miss it. He was pleased to share the stuff he was working on with someone and he still is.
He loved to see things to completion (and still does) and would wait for me to see the finished product. There was always a great sense of accomplishment.

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I’ve looked back at my own way of playing as a child and thought about the ways it reflected my personality. While I have fond memories of some games and toys, I spent my time primarily imagining. There were three important elements to great imagination time for me.  I needed to be walking (not fast, just kind of sauntering back and forth or in a circle), I needed an object to fidget with (I used to have a red, blue and white skipping rope that I would turn and walk through slowly) and I needed space/alone time. With those three ingredients, I could create stories, imaginary worlds and develop ideas over and over again. I still generate ideas and possibilities that way. I walk around and often fidget with something if I’m trying to think something through or imagine something differently.
Far from just being mindless leisure, play is the way kids process information, create, learn about themselves and the world. If we think about the different ways they learn, it isn’t surprising that their play is so individual as well – it’s all kind of one and the same:).

Of course, things aren’t quite this linear and weren’t then either. Often the kids came up with common games to play together with the same toys, but more times than not, I could still see the thread of personality running through the game of whoever’s idea it had originally been. There are also a whole host of other factors related to way kids play – everything from sensory needs, birth order, climate or physical space they live in, to simply what’s available as far as resources. Depending on how you look at it, though, those things are each part of how personality ends up playing out. People change as they grow up and get older, but as I’ve watched the “growing up” process, it really is fun to see the tendencies winding through their lives:).

You might be interested to continue reading about this is Part Two – The Different Ways Children Express Themselves – Real Learning? and Part Three – As Kids Get Older.

Have you noticed connections between personality and play? Differences between kids? Thoughts?

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2 thoughts on “The Personality of Play – Part One”

  1. Liz

    Yes, lots of differences between kids which is what makes it fun! I was struck by the idea of third person pretend play vs first person. I hadn’t really ever thought about that distinction but yes, that’s so true and I’m going to see if I notice that going forward. Also I’m now thinking about one child whose pretend play involved a lot of props and creating things vs another who has it all playing out inside his head and then sometimes turns that into a written story. I enjoyed this. Thanks!

    1. Erin

      Yes, so many differences in pretend play! We tend to lump it all together but there are lots of different distinctions. You mentioned the child whose pretend play involved a lot of props and making things. I know that scene! I found there was such excitement about making all “the things” to go along with the story/play they were in the midst of. I sometimes didn’t have quite the right materials so things got even more creative to find Plan B materials that might work. Thanks Liz:).

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